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Nothing exciting

So I have a regular, normal life for the most part. Put on my pants the same way you do, I imagine. Go to work after dropping my daughter off at school, work a good job, eat healthy food, make witty banter with co-workers and friends during the course of the day, maybe read, work out and go to sleep. Get up the next day and practice the routine again. I’ve gotten quite good at it.

There are few monkey wrenches thrown in there except, while in my car. I’d like to think I’m an okay driver. I don’t get into accidents, (can’t believe I just wrote that) don’t speed more than a few miles an hour over the limit, use my turn signals and keep a safe distance from the car in front of me.

Recently, I have noticed that many people with whom I share the road are practicing a lot of the same techniques I use to transport myself from point a to point b. I, too have realized that I encounter several handfuls of folks that don’t subscribe to these techniques and have developed their own.

There is a lever placed on the right hand side of the steering column that is used to indicate that a turn is about to be made, for instance. This indicator is actually designed to let other people know that you have contemplated a turn and have adjudicated the situation to the degree that a turn indeed will happen. I seem to remember this from driver’s ed.

However, many of my road partners have chosen to discontinue the mundane use of the lever because it can be cumbersome in making a simple turn or lane change. I also have road partners who have developed other uses for the lever. Apparently the lever stays on if a turn is not made and the lever is not released back to neutral. Who knew? Perhaps they are using it to dupe other road partners or a metronome for their steering wheel drumming. I’m not sure.

Now we have people with every intention of making a turn and not letting anyone else know AND people who have no intentions at all of turning letting others think that they’re going to. Huh?

There is also a standard on automobiles that by moving the lever up, you are indicating a left turn forthcoming. Down, a right turn. I have noticed this to be overlooked, as well.

I guess that’s kinda exciting. Maybe there is excitement to my day, after all.

There is also a passing lane that is located all the way to the left if the direction you are driving has more than one lane. This passing lane is to be used for…..that’s right…..passing. I’m told that in some ancient cultures that that lane is sacred and is to be traveled slowly. This is why this lane is traveled slowly by many from ancient times.

Also, there is the drafter. This person has decided that with the price of gasoline accelerating to exorbitant dollars that drafting off of the car in front of them will save them thousands a year in fuel. They are usually easy to spot because their front bumper does not exist or is not in it’s original condition. There may be a Nascar sticker attached to it somewhere, as well.

Lastly, my new favorite road partner is the mime. This person is able to paint a vivid picture with inaudible words and hand gestures that would make any conductor or face contortionist proud. I’m sorry, “what’s that you’re saying sir? You broke that finger and you are in incredible pain? You should stop shaking it then” is all I can answer back with. Unfortunately, they can’t hear me either.

I, once again, have been wrong. My day really is exciting. And I drive a wagon.

What’s in a birthday?

the first time you smile

the first breath you take

the first laugh you make

that’s in a birthday

the first vision of your mother

the first time you crawl

the first time you fall

that’s in a birthday

your first puppy dog

your first Christmas tree

your first skinned up knee

that’s in a birthday

the first time you hold hands

the first time you kiss

the first time you miss

that’s in a birthday

your first true love

your very first child

their very first smile

that’s in a birthday

What’s in a birthday, you ask? All of those things that started the day you were born. All of the joy you give to others. All the beautiful things that reflect from you being you. Maybe every day is your birthday in some way. Maybe today is your birthday. If so, Happy Birthday!

Bingo was his nameO

I start here with my name. Bingo Gambit. That is not my birth name so, don’t feel too bad for me. I do think the inception of that name serves as good background for who I am and how I think. This will be important as you learn about my simple views on life and how it’s shaped my world. It’s a world shaped by family and friends, love and patience, beauty and spectacle, laughter and comedy, music and sport,  and plenty of sarcasm. Simple, really. Duh…. right?

I’ve heard, as many of us have, there are two kinds of people in this world. People who “whatever it may be” and people who don’t. I don’t think so. I think there’s billions of kinds of people in this world. Billions that “whatever it may be” and still may change their minds later. The world is in a constant state of flux as are our lives so just because I wouldn’t go streaking in Giants Stadium today doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have in my youth or may later in life. I used to not like beets, for instance. I was a cat person. I would wash my hair etc…. These are things I don’t take too seriously. (still wash my hair) Point being, I “whatever it may be”ed and have changed my mind lots of times.

Anyway, (stay on track) my life is just like everyone else’s. Shaped by all the things we encounter all day every day. One of my favorite things is something I learned in sales, of all places. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. John Maxwell said this. Maybe, I don’t know. I like it. I thought it was Charles R. Swindell but my editor/girlfriend (she knows more about presidents, Saturn, movies, Scrabble, basically everything) thought that it might be someone else. I try and live by that little 10%-90% thing or at least incorporate it as often as possible. It’s helped in my listening skills, too.

Listening is huge in life. I’m 46 and I have only just figured that out in the last year and change. Sometimes it was selective hearing. That usually applied in married life. Well, not true, probably most of my life. That’s simply hearing what we want to hear when we want.

Sometimes it was lack of comprehension. Kinda like the teacher in Charlie Brown/Peanuts. That was me in school. The teacher sounded like a plunger muted trombone most of the time. Except for all of the music classes so, that makes sense. I liked music and sports, not so much English. Can you tell? I’m not perfect at listening now but, I’m better.

So all of that to get to the story of Bingo Gambit and how he came to be.

In 1992 to do my civic duty, I worked in a political survey center to get the state’s finger on the pulse of many pivotal measures. Calling strangers on the phone for four hours every evening (excuse me, VOLUNTEERING to call strangers on the phone for four hours every evening) was either to be a complete monotonous, humdrum task or it was going to be made fun. Because my entire household, me, my wife at the time, best friend and another close friend, had all decided to do it together, we figured we would make it a good time.

Now you can’t very well skip around on the script that you are asked to follow. You can improvise a bit if the people are friendly and want to converse a bit further but, after all, we were there to do our civic duty. So I decided the only real place to interject some sort of fun was in the introduction.

“Good evening, my name is Bingo Gambit with the Oregon State Survey Center and I was wondering if you could answer a few questions this evening about the upcoming elections.”

Now, I could use my real name. I could use my real voice. I chose not to. I used a myriad of accents and voices. Maybe a  Carol Kane in Scrooged. Maybe a Phil Collins in one of his videos. So what is more fun? Accents, voices and phony names or just plain ol’ I’m gonna be here for four hours as me? The former!!

“Sure Bingo, I can answer a few questions. About how long will it take?”

“Just a few minutes of your time. I promise to be respectful of your dinner time. “

“Okay Mr. Gambit, shoot!”

“How are you voting on measure X?”

“They just want to take our guns away from us!”

“And how are you voting on measure Y?”

“I’m not letting those fairies in my schools!”

“Okey doke, Mrs. Nuhsbaum.”

You get the idea.

I used names of professional athletes, musicians, authors and then I began to make up ridiculous names. Never skipped a beat. People would answer back and occasionally insert my phony name. This was fun! AND the biggest part of the contest between the four of us, as we all began to participate in my lame-brain idea, was who could make the others lose it in laughter the most. I won that contest with Bingo Gambit. *

Hence, Bingo Gambit was born. A small nerdy English twenty-something that had just come to the states a few years earlier. Or, at least that’s what I pictured Bingo to be. That’s just what he sounded like.

Today I write as Bingo. Just  a pseudonym for a very happy 46 year-old father of one. I’m no longer married. I have a wonderful 8 year old daughter,  beautiful (HOT!!!) girlfriend who is a REAL blogger (considerably funnier than I), a great family, wonderful co-workers and a wonderful life. My life is great and if you continue to tune in, I promise to do my best to entertain with songs, poetry, odd observations, sports myths, candy corn recipes, flea bite remedies, fork lifting contests, The Office references, sports prognostication, updates on sales techniques………..everything.

Most of all I will do it with a smile! And try to make sure that it is understood that what may seem snarky, is really just self-deprecating humor.

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*My best friend should have won the contest with the name Floyd Floinkus but only garnished a laugh from me and not the other two.

Hello from Bingo!

I’ve decided to start a blog. My girlfriend, who is a real writer, recently started doing this and I have been inspired by her. I used to write music, poetry, songs and goofy things in yearbooks. Now I’m preparing to share these things for cathartic reasons, with the electronic world. Purely selfish. Here’s hoping to share with tens of accidental readers the internet over!

You’ll find my initial inspiration at someonefathappened here on wordpress. Now that woman knows how to write. Right? She has offered a bit of coaching for me but I doubt much will sink in.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. After you read this, you should delete and write your own post, with a new title above. Or hit Add New on the left (of the admin dashboard) to start a fresh post.

Here are some suggestions for your first post.

  1. You can find new ideas for what to blog about by reading the Daily Post.
  2. Add PressThis to your browser. It creates a new blog post for you about any interesting  page you read on the web.
  3. Make some changes to this page, and then hit preview on the right. You can always preview any post or edit it before you share it to the world.